The Myths of Mentoring
In January's article we learned that mentoring someone was not exactly the same a sponsoring someone. Mentors pass on the wisdom they have gathered. They advise, suggest, and allow the protégé to pick their brains. Sponsors are more directly connected. Sponsors may have been part of the hiring or promotion of the protégé. Sponsors may encounter negative feedback about themselves if the protégé stumbles or makes a major mistake. Both mentor and sponsor are needed, but they are not the same.
We dug into what a sponsor does in the January 2015 article. Now we will turn our attention to mentoring from the perspective of the mentor. Mentoring has changed over the years. When people think of mentors, they may think of the seasoned, mature executive passing pearls of wisdom on to young, eager, ladder-climbing rookies. But gone are the days of slow steady rises in the ranks by early career staff. No longer is the typical career started and finished at the same firm and maybe not even in the same industry. While mentor-protégé relationships still exist and often thrive, they are not what they were in the past.
Mentors Are Givers
Mentors offer input, perspectives, advice, suggestions, and even warnings to those they are mentoring. In a respectful manner, they look for ways to provide direction to others who have given them permission to provide such feedback. They enjoy passing on what they have learned. They embrace the challenge of assisting others. They focus on providing information that others can use to make better decisions, learn new skills, improve their management efforts, advance their careers, and open new areas of opportunity. Mentoring is not about the mentor. It is all about the protégé, but the mentor has advantages also (as we will discuss later).
If you are working from outdated frameworks and yesterday’s definitions, you might have trouble making progress in your efforts to be a mentor, sponsor, or protégé. Let’s look at a few myths that some may have about mentoring and being a mentor.
Myth #1: Mentors Can Have Only One Protégé
A singular approach may have worked in the past or in very formal processes, but today the matrixed organization provides so many opportunities to connect that it would be foolish to think that just one mentoring relationship is all that is needed or available. With so many areas of business, trade, technology, and finances that touch every person in their career, mentors can and should connect with more than just one person.
I encourage multiple connection points as you look to give input, advice, and provide perspectives to others. At any given time in your career you may be mentoring several persons in your firm at the same time. You may often see opportunities to provide perspectives to others that might help them gain insight into specific situations. Each relationship should take on its own flavor and areas of interest. You may be providing business understanding to one and technical tips to another. Several simultaneous relationships can happen, so don’t think it is just one person you will be mentoring at any given time.
Myth #2: Mentoring Is a Formal and Long-Haul Process
Mentoring may be a formal process that your firm has put in place. When I ask people if their firms have formal mentoring programs, about 10-15 percent indicate they do. When I ask how many are actually involved in the programs, I get about 10 percent. I have been in formal programs before and they have value, but I have seen the informal take hold with better results. Formal programs may not involve those who are really energized to be mentors. Many times, people get involved because they have to, not because they want to. Some formal mentors may be really motivated, but I have seen more who are not. Another reason for lower success rates is that formal programs may go on too long. Some programs last for a year or more and the relationships seem to fade away after three to six months.
Some may disagree, but I think that the informal and short term approach works best. This is the best way to get the motivated folks involved and also encourage some who may not think they are cut out for mentoring to give it a shot. There are lower commitment requirements and shorter periods of time. There may still be some formal components about it—such as how often you meet and what is discussed—but there is not a restrictive formal agenda, timeframe, and duration.
Mentoring can be successful if two people meet on an agreed-upon schedule and discuss an agreed-upon topic for an undefined length of time. It might be over coffee, in a conference room at work, or lunch or breakfast at a local diner. Whatever it is, the connection lasts as long as the need and agreement to continue exists. If the parties reach an end to the discussion, then they stop meeting or stretch out the meeting times by going twice as long between meetings, or check in once a quarter. It is a good idea to have a milestone date where both parties agree again to continue or to terminate the process.
Myth #3: Mentoring Is Just about Giving Advice or Coaching
I encourage everyone to provide input and advice when it is needed and welcomed, but do not confuse giving advice with mentoring. Giving advice, or coaching, is focused more on performance improvement as opposed to mentoring, which is focused on personal growth. Coaching is often part of a job function, but mentoring is not. And finally, giving advice is given in the arena of task or project function, while mentoring is geared toward life-long impact.
Everyone needs to pass on skills to others as part of their job. Training the next group of workers in the things that are needed is part of the fabric of working. Firms need people to train others. They need to have people coach others in their advancing job duties and scope. On the other hand, mentoring may span a job title, job function, and firm. The mentor is focused on refining the personal, management, and leadership prowess of the person, which in turn makes the firm stronger.
Myth #4: Mentor and Protégé Must Be a Perfect Match
I have been at firms where they set up an extensive process of matching the two people involved in mentoring. The leaders of the effort have discussions, interviews, Q/A, and much more. All efforts are focused on getting the right people together, having them click and get into lock step for the process to start. After all the effort and energy, the success rate at the end of the process still had a combination of successful matches and some dismal failures.
Since the process can be informal and not for the long haul, I would suggest a teaming of partners that happens naturally. As a mentor, look for someone who is eager to learn and teachable (actually taking advice and acting on it). Find someone you think needs a little help. It is not that complicated. Strike up a conversation and ask if you could provide some feedback and maybe meet on a regular basis. They may push back a little and think it strange for you to ask, but don’t give up. As a mentor, ask permission to feed into someone’s life. Let the protégé define some of the areas of interaction beyond what you have in mind, then start talking and see where it goes.
Myth #5: Mentoring Benefits Only the Junior Person
Many think that mentoring benefits only the protégé. While I think there are immense benefits to the early career professional as they seek to learn the ropes, the mentor also gains payback. While mentors should not be motivated by what they can get out of the process, there are some advantages to being involved as a mentor.
Mentors gain bragging rights when the protégé advances or masters a new skill. Others in the firm will notice and know that the mentor provided guidance and will look to assign the mentor when new project opportunities or tasks come along.
Mentors gain insight into areas that the protégé may know better than they. The mentor does not know it all. Not to typecast, but early career staff may know more about the latest technology or social media trends. The protégé may steer the mentor in new directions.
The protégé keeps the mentor connected to other staff and informal networking within the firm. When the protégé connects the mentor to staff that do not run in the same circles as the mentor, the mentor gains a viewpoint that may not have existed prior to the mentoring process.
Conclusion
By dispelling the myths of mentoring, I hope I have encouraged some of you to give it a whirl. It is open to all levels of employee, but managers and leaders should be involved. Do not shy away from a chance to connect and encourage another staff member as they move into areas of leadership within your firm. Next month we continue to look at mentoring. Until then, start looking for someone to help.
